I'm sure I'll write something more substantial after, but we all know hindsight is 50/50. Tonight is the night of endless possibilities, of dwelling in potential futures. What does tomorrow hold? It could be anything. Then the nerves start to spiral, and you have to cut yourself off from wondering, what's gonna happen?
There's so much unknown about this course... it's the first year it's happened, so time is unknown, the other athletes are unknown, and yes, my own performance is all question marks too. You never know until you're doing it, and that's what's so agonizing about this part. The variables that you can't control are many, so then you get crazy about those you can: I spent the past three days AGONIZING over whether or not I should use my aero helmet, which will give about five minutes advantage, but doesn't have good ventilation, and therefore can cause overheating. It was baking today, and might be a few degrees cooler, but I've decided to go regular helmet so as to feel the coolest I can before the run... since the run's where the race really happens, right?
This Ironman I'm doing in honor of my Mom's 60th birthday, which was last week. I'm trying to PR, and I'm trying to finish top of my AG, which might just be possible: I've trained better for this race than any before... at the very least, my run should be great. There's a lot of mitigating factors... the bike will be challenging, and the heat is a big issue, as we've been training in winter weather. Regardless: I am going to put my whole heart into it, and do it with a smile. I'm running my race and no one else's, and that's all I can control. I don't want to make my big goals and dreams let me lose sight of my beautiful surroundings, and how lucky I am to get to do this race again.
Hope to make you proud, Mom!