I'm back! And better than ever! Well. That remains to be seen. I hope I can be better than ever, and with a little bit of hard work and determination, why not?

I took some time off after the burnt foot festival of pain that was Cozumel, and had a long and steady winter base training that just as of last week switched over to build: it's IM Coeur D'Alene June 29 that I'm preparing for, with a little bump in between to test the waters at Wildflower (oh yuck, and yet every year, I do it.)

I realize now that I intended to detail my BQ marathon at St. George, and definitely didn't. Welp, these are the breaks. In brief, after breaking my finger, I gained too much weight and got all depressed, but still powered through some marathon training, and my quads were strong enough from running down Mt. Wilson over and over and over again that I actually reached my goal time, even though I was a solid 10 lbs over racing weight. My HR was in the 170s for a lot of those 3.5 hours and it's no surprise, I had mega distress of the gastro variety for about a day and half after... you can't do that to yourself and expect no negative outcomes. And yeah, my plantars had returned, and it's all been a sore foot avoidance game, and a weight loss game, and I'm not yet on a winning streak. BUT I WILL BE!

It's really hard when you've gotten into great shape and then you fall off the wagon. You keep comparing yourself to... yourself. And while yourself is probably the best person to compare yourself to (instead of, say, fitness models, who are genetically blessed), it can still be equally harmful. Life has changes. Bodies get older. You're never going to be who you were in high school-- though by the same token, thank God, right? That person was pretty stupid in many ways, even if they ran a 5:35 mile. So I'm determined to be patient and good to myself, instead of looking at my weight and run times and feeling my hurt feet and thinking "this time last year..."  Eff last year! This is THIS year. And it's going to be better than ever. Because I say so!

It's been a lonesome training time this year, as I lack my Team Awesome to train with... Coach D went off the Melbourne to race recently, and Jason got a new job that keeps him from week rides, so I have been turning to my new best friend, Books on Tape (yes, even though they are on smartphones and iPods, they still have that brandname!) So a seven hour bike ride alone is considerably less lonesome when I get to listen to the tails of sex and murder in the Realm (oh yes, it's all about the Game of Thrones!) I'd like to say I was listening to Proust or something, but when you're sweating and tired, you can't really focus on high literature. Or at least I can't. More power to you if you exercise to T.S. Eliot. 

Safety Note: I always leave one earbud out when on roads with cars. Just sayin'. 

At moments like these, I realize how lucky I am to have all this tech on my side. What if my books on tape were really just tape? I'd have to carry three along in my jersey at least. And then they'd be all sweaty and messed up. And your cassette player can't call a friend if you break your bike. 

So, hours and hours and miles and miles before we sleep is the name of the game these days. It's becoming harder and harder to fit everything into my days-- I recently was hired to write, produce and perform in an online video for Golden Road, my awesome employers. Figuring out when to fit in the swim/bike/runs along with the writing/shooting/editing, not to mention the working and tutoring has become quite the task. This week I had a 6.5 hour ride (with 45 min brick run) and a three hour ride and a 2.5 hour run in addition to all the rest. That's over 12 hours and in only 2.5 days out of six workout days. Holy volume, Batman. So, uh, yeah. Feminists talk about work-life balance. Triathletes talk about workout-life balance. Which generally is not balanced... and generally means you have no life. La vie d'Ironman. I almost always feel like I'm failing a little (I always forget my swim arm exercises, sooooorry) and my run is still shabby. And I still want to do weekly tire drills, since lately I've been getting reamed for complaining about my flat tire woes during Los Cabos on this here blog. To that I must say: hey I know it, it's totally my fault for not being a total boss with my wheels, and I will get good and fast at flat fixes. But I'm allowed to whine on my own blog, it's catharsis, nobody said you HAVE to read it, buddy. Thanks for taking the time to share your disgust.

But it's all about the future, and dwelling in possibility. No more looking back, we're looking forward. Cleaning up my diet, clearing up my head, making a plan, and going for it. Someone's gonna win these things. Why not me?


AuthorNikki Muller